Well, hello everyone who still has mild interest. I'm back. It really has been more than a year since my last post. Up till now I have lived in Taipei, Taiwan for one year and almost 5 months. I am very aware that I totally looks like I completely abandoned my blog but the truth is that I just got busy and forgot. Honest. You have to realize that I worked for over two years really, really hard just to make it over here. And once I made it I kind of got absorbed in my new reality. But more than getting absorbed into this new life of living on my own in a foreign country that doesn't speak English as a first language, the hard part was realizing that this isn't a dream. Not a fantasy either. In fact, it's just life but in a new location. The location is very new and exotic but after a year those special things that made it new and exotic just faded. After that happened what I was left with was just my life just the same as I had it before. And to be honest, it's taken me sometime to come to terms with that. Now I'm not saying I'm disappointed. In fact I'm far from being disappointed. But what I'm trying to say and in turn blog about this time is just the truth of moving permanently to serve where the need is greater. Now there is a lot to talk about so let's start in an easy place, what I was expecting. Warning ahead: I will be very honest both with myself and with my experiences.
When I first made my way to Taiwan it was late 2013 and I was 23. I was a very different person and Iwas really craving a clear direction in my life. So when I got to Taipei and met all those people my age from different places and different backgrounds having fun learning Chinese and preaching I felt like I had discovered my calling. Of course, the trip only lasted for three months and I had to return home, but I had that taste in my mouth and I wanted it back. It took a lot of work for two and a half years, and I got really low more than a few times, but that thought of getting back what I had at first was strong enough to keep me going. Another factor was that I had never experienced anything like a large group of friends always doing things together and having fun, so it was a new enjoyable experience. However, when I finally did get back I discovered a few things had changed that I hadnt ever focused on. One was that the majority of the friends I made had all moved on to new things leaving only one or two people that I really knew behind. Another was that when I came back I did find another group of early twenty somethings always hanging out and having fun, but by then I was 26 and a very different person. And lastly I found that Taiwan had stopped being a magical place were everyday was an adventure and had become a place where I had to work and struggle to get by in. So, being honest, I felt quite a bit of disappointment when I finally came back. It really wasn't that bad in hind sight. Really, it was still a huge improvement from my previous situation. It really was a silly thing to be disappointed in change, really. But I still remember going back to a place called Danshui in the north, the place where I first fell in love with Taiwan and felling the wait of that massive change and it felt like I had been working hard all day on an empty stomach and expecting to come home to a hearty meal only to realize that I had to go back out, buy my own groceries, then make my own meal from scratch. I really wanted to make a very delicious and satisfying meal for my self but I just couldn't do it, I didn't know what to do. But really that feeling really helped me understand a very important lesson.
When the time had come when I had lived in Taipei for almost a year I had a very serious reflection. I really didn't not like the person I was. My Chinese had improved but it really was not very good. I found myself working more than I was preaching. My preaching work hadn't really yielded anything, in my opinion, really great. And I was so disappointed in myself because I was really unhappy living in the place I had worked so hard to get to. At that time I really was fortunate because I could turn to my father for good advice. I told him everything I was feeling and going through. After hearing everything he simply asked me, "What are you still holding on to?" That question really got me thinking. At the end I came to a very elementary but none the less serious idea: I really am the first and last person that can make myself happy. Now I won't get to far into the main reason I was unhappy,it really is a personal matter, but I will tell you that when I finally discovered it I realized that I had to fix that problem in me. What I discovered I think applies to most people as well. I do think that most people have one or a few main problems that are the root of all the other problems in their life. In my case it was one thing and I had to face that one big one before I could start to get better. I am a very blessed man because as soon as I prayed for help I got the perfect circumstances to fix and bury my problem. And you know what once I put that behind me things did get a lot better. So if I am trying to say anything it's this: most of the time when you are unhappy the best thing you can do is not change your environment but change your viewpoint, or outlook. If you are humble enough and have a positive enough mindset you can be happy anywhere. So I changed my mindset. I was one hundred percent ready to be happy in a foreign field right? Nope, I still had a few things to adjust.
When I ca,e back here to live I had in mind great things for myself. Nothing gaudy, just a ripe preaching field where I could get dozens of bible studies, find a nice sister, a comfortable environment and settle in one place for the rest of my life. Not much to ask for, right? Easily obtainable for someone in my situation. After all, I'm single, I have the world open to me, the right circumstances, so it will be as inch to get these things right? Well,not exactly. When you move to a foreign land to serve you feel that you are on the top of the spiritual food chain but in reality you just nobody and knowone is going to treat you extra special just because you moved locations. And really, that's good. That keeps you honest. So then, how do you react when you find out you are not ready to get what you want? You viewpoint on life might be good but you still need one more thing. Patience. You need patience with your situation and patience with yourself. So what exactly have I learned and how do I feel about my new way of life?
I true.y, one hundred and ten percent think that choosing to move where the need is great has been the best idea I've ever had in my whole life. I don't I could have ever grown so much, learned so much, and experienced as much just living in my home town for one year. I truly feel Jehovah with me even day and I can se the results of his training and I am amazed. But this whole thing hasn't all been a big party. It has also been a lot of work and more than a few tears to get to this point. But let me tell you, "All of it is totally worth it!" Don't be afraid of the unknown because Jehovah is with you. He will watch you, maybe even more than before because you are in a peculiar situation. And you will grow and be happier. This I can promise you. Well, that is a very short summary of what has been going on but I still need to post pictures and tell stories. That will have to wait till next time. Till then know that I love you all and I wish you all the best. Till next time.
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